My letter to shawn

Hey Shawn I just thought I’d write to you. I couldn’t sleep tonight & I couldn’t sleep last night either I had nightmares about it. I just want sit here & reminisce with you try to keep my mind off the bad. Remember that mom fight back in middle school over by nicky & mikeys house? That was so funny man had us laughing for hours. Remember when you got into that fight & he was kicking you on the ground & I broke it up & let him know what was up? had all those leaves in your hair then me & justin cleaned you up. took it like a champ though you didn’t care if you lost cause you would never go down without a fight. Best memories were just chillen in the yellow houses with tre, josh, justin, & james. We partied together a few times. You definitely loved to dance lol. We shared so many laughs & smiles. I remember our late night conversations. You use to tell me how pretty I was when I use to get treated like shit by guys you told me how I didn’t deserve the treatment I was getting. You always tried to make me feel good about myself. You succeeded. We were such good friends in middle school & freshman year & sophmore year. But somewhere along the lines we drifted apart near the end of last year. I mean we stayed in touch it just wasn’t the same. But you will always be part o my life & will always have a spot in my heart. What happened to you isn’t right that man deserves to rot in jail. But then again you fulfilled gods plan for you. you made made a mark on my life and so many other people’s lives. Your death has already change my life. I’m ashamed to admit that i’ve gotten behind the wheel of a car after drinking never ever again will I do it. I wish I could repay you for the impact you’ve had on my life but I know I never truly can. I am going to do everything I can to help your family. I’m tryna raise money for them & i’ll do my best to be there for them if they need anything from money to just talking. God takes the good ones because he needs more help watching over all of us. He thought you were perfect for the job. You’re our little angel now. Please watch over your family & kayla they need it. You’re not really gone from us that’s why I’m gonna try to smile you’re here with us & I’ll See you again one day it might just be awhile. But Make sure they play some twerking music when I get up to the gate so we can deff get it poppin’ with my pancake ctfu !
I love you always & forever,
Julia ♥

be grateful

Im tired of everyone complaining about stupid shit saying boohoo me. My boy is fucking gone. He doesnt get to live anymore. He doesnt get to hug his mom or play ball with his little brothers ever again. Appreciate your life & everyone & everything in it. Be happy lifes too short to be unhappy. All of you do me a favor & tell everyone you love that you love them before you go to bed tonight bc the morning may never come.

Shawn

I had nightmares about Shawn’s death last night & woke up sweating, nausea, & crying. I was driving by where he died yesterday started shaking & crying so bad that I had to pull over my car. I couldn’t sleep tonight so I went to his memorial so I could relight all his candles . I just keep seeing his smiling face in my head. I just keep picturing him smiling & laughing to try to get through it. I really can’t accept the fact he’s gone.